Top 5 Movies Everyone Has Seen That I Haven't, and Never Will:
5) Good Will Hunting (1997)- I don't know why, but I've never watched this movie despite everyone telling me how great it is. I've viewed a couple of scenes, but as soon as Robin Williams shows up I immediately have the urge to switch the channel. That's no one's fault but Mr. Williams himself. I've also had a hard time sitting through anything Gus Van "Pretentious Douchebag" Sant has made since the agonizing experience that was sitting through all 97 minutes of Last Days in a movie theater. By the end of that movie I wanted to blow my head off. Anyway, my girlfriend bought this on DVD a few months ago and it's still in its shrink wrap.
4) M*A*S*H (1970) - Ever since I was a small child, the theme to the M*A*S*H TV show has made me want to kill people. I don't know what it is...but I hear the very beginning of that song and I'm instantly filled with rage, anger, frustration and extreme physical pain. So the very idea of sitting through an entire movie of this shit is so repugnant to me that I would rather eat a bag of severed kitten heads. Nothing will get me to watch this movie, NOTHING.
3) Sex & the City - The Movie (2008) - Sorry, no.
2) Gone with the Wind (1939) - I've honestly never met a single person who loves this movie enough to tell me to watch it. And believe me, a lot of my friends watch a shit-load of movies. I was once in an elevator with a woman about 6 years ago who said that she had watched Gone With The Wind on DVD over the weekend and exclaimed "I looooooved it! Oh my god I looooove that movie so much." But I rarely value the opinion of some woman who probably sits on the couch with a box of tissues, wrapped in a blanket for 48 hours straight. Regardless, with its gross adjusted for inflation, this movie is easily the most popular film of all time...and I swear to you I will never actually watch it.
1) Titanic (1997) - Yes, I'm probably the only person in the universe who has never seen this movie. And you know what? I guarantee you I'm a better person because of it. It's not that I have anything against the people in the movie, or the people who made this movie. Leonardo DiCaprio is a fine actor, and Kate Winslet has been in some really interesting films. James Cameron has directed T2 and True Lies. Sure, James Cameron is a total ass, but his shortcomings are completely redeemed when you watch those movies. Anyway, I already know pretty much everything that happens in this movie from hearing people talk about it for the last 11 years. So I've saved 3 1/2 hours of my life while all of you haven't. And trust me, those 3 1/2 hours were well spent playing video games. 
1 comment:
Don't feel bad; I've never seen "Titanic" and I refuse too also. I also don't want to see any epic romances revolving around the Hindenburg, Jonestown, or the Challenger explosion.
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