Childhood...

No real setup for this, apart from that I did absolutely no research on any of these items, specifically to give the most vague recollection I could for each. Any corrections/explanations would be greatly appreciated. Enjoy.

Top 11 Things I Vaguely Remember as a Child:

11) Popples - Popples were an extremely inventive line of stuffed animals, one that you could turn inside out and make it into a ball. I had a yellow one, I think, and I adored it. I'm pretty sure that I lost my Popple after turning it inside out and dropping it down a sewer when I was 5. Then a very scary clown in the sewer offered it back, along with a red balloon. Okay, that didn't really happen, but my Popple did mysteriously vanish.



10) Genesis - Land of Confusion - This video scared the hell out of me as a child. It was similar to watching Labyrinth, in that there were these puppets that were seemingly friendly, but in reality, were absolutely frightening. Still, there are references to Superman (even if it is just Ronald Reagan), which is probably why I watched it so much. Take a look.



9) Mickey's Christmas Carol - I don't know when this aired, but I do know that I had a VHS tape of this special that I probably watched 8,000 times as a kid. Watching it now is an extremely surreal experience, mainly because as a kid you make your own weird interpretations about things you don't understand.



8) Ghost Busters (Filmation) - This is the type of cartoon that could cause a child to have a brain aneurysm. I loved nothing more than the Ghostbusters movie and subsequent cartoon, so imagine how confused I must have been when an alternate cartoon, also named "Ghostbusters," aired with a very similar premise. Except, where was Venkman and Egon? Is the gorilla supposed to be Slimer? Why aren't they driving around in the Ecto-1? Filmation (the company who owned the rights to the name "Ghostbusters") should be ashamed of themselves for having confused youngsters everywhere with this inferior version. Yes, I know they had the name first, but damn....this shit made me angry!



7) Ewoks: Battle For Endor - I didn't really get into the Star Wars movies until I was a little older, but for whatever reason, I was very much aware of the straight-to-TV Ewok movies. In particular, this bizarre sequel starring a Drew Barrymore lookalike and Wilford Brimley. This was another VHS tape I watched at least a million times, original commercials intact. Make no mistake, these movies are god awful, but that one Ewok (who isn't really an Ewok) who runs really fast is kind of cool. Watch this very weird scene, clearly inspired by Evil Dead 2.



6) The Peanut Butter Solution - Literally every person I have spoken to who was born in the 80's vaguely remembers this movie. No one owns a copy, no one saw it a couple months ago, and certainly no one has the poster hanging in their room, but every one kinda sorta maybe remembers this movie. It was an odd premise. From what I remember, a kid loses all his hair after walking through a painting or something, and then hears of the "peanut butter solution" which will cause his hair to grow back after spreading peanut butter all over his head. And didn't it involve some art supply company using his hair for its hairbrushes? Wow....this movie was fucking insane!



5) Mr. Boogedy/Bride of Boogedy - From what I can recall, and I'm pretty sure I watched these movies again only a few years ago, this movie starred Richard Masur who plays an 35 year old man-child who owns a joke shop and treats his family like total shit by constantly playing tasteless pranks on them. They move into the house of a dead Amish man, presumably Mr. Boogedy, and he haunts the fuck out of them. Eugene Levy is in at least one of these steaming shit-piles, and Michael Eisner did a very weird introduction with Goofy and/or Donald. If you don't remember these movies, I feel (sorry) happy for you. For further proof of Richard Masur being a total asshole to his family, watch the clip below:



4) This Very Creepy McDonald's Commercial - How come no one questions that a ghastly clown is ice skating with a group of unaccompanied children? Have none of these parents read about John Wayne Gacy??? This commercial is most likely on one of my VHS tapes of Ewoks or Mr. Boogedy, so I've seen it a lot. The image of Ronald McDonald spinning the kid in the air at the end still sends chills down my spine.



3) Hi-C's Ecto Cooler - I drank this stuff literally every day for at least 3 years. Once I remember my mom bought one of those gigantic cans of it, but it wasn't called Ecto cooler, it was the same exact drink, made by Hi-C, presumably prior to the Ghosbusters tie-in. I wish I could remember the name, and I've been doing research, but no luck. If you remember, please email me. Anyway, is it just me, or is the CGI in this commercial way to advanced for its time?



2) My Pet Monster - Wow, did this really exist or was it a figment of my imagination? I had a gigantic My Pet Monster doll for way longer than I should have, but I couldn't tell you what the hell the character was. I'm pretty sure there was a movie, and it involved some kind of statue, and the statue came alive when someone was wearing a ring or something, but I could just be making that up. Regardless, this was a very odd 80's franchise.



1) Madballs - Now that I've compiled this list, I realize how infatuated 80's toymakers were with creating grisly toys for small children to play with. What the hell was the deal with Madballs? I'm pretty sure I had the one that looked like a baseball and stuck its tongue out. If you never owned a Madball, I pity you.